Jaxon got wind that Brawny was shopping for a new spokesperson. Over biscuits, he revealed to me that he’s always dreamed of wearing the iconic red and black checked shirt. He practically begged me to take him to the grocery store that night so he could stock up on his favorite paper towel. I think he wanted enough Brawny on hand in case senior management stopped by to confirm his commitment to the brand. Fortunately, as lead dog, I suggested that he not put all of his biscuits in one bowl. I told him to hedge his bets and consider Bounty.
Once we arrived at the food store, he proceeded to load up our carriages with anything Brawny he could find. As we struggled to stuff our pile into the car, several store workers gave disapproving stares. They finally mustered the terrier courage and complained that we shouldn’t be hoarding in a pandemic. I explained that this wasn’t pandemic hoarding. Jaxon was just putting his best paw forward to nab the opportunity to wear the red and black and maybe get a lucrative spokesperson gig. Figuring this was a worthy cause, they brought out a few jumbo cases that were stashed in back to help him reach his goal.
I snapped the above photo of Jaxon proudly sitting on a portion of his stockpile. We couldn’t use all of it because we couldn’t figure out a way to get him up that high. That night Jaxon reached out to the Brawny Paper Towel Company and asked to be considered for the spokesperson position. He stressed that he’s a long time Brawny customer, terrier tough, and not afraid of any spill when he’s armed with Brawny. The kid went all out on this one. Unfortunately, he just got an impersonal, canned response saying from the Georgia-Pacific Consumer Response Center that “At this time, Brawny is not looking for a spokesperson.”
He’s crushed and feeling pretty low. At least he took my advice and included some Bounty in the pile. For now, I think he’s switching to Bounty. If he’s desperate, he might have to consider Marcal or a generic store brand.
Just in case, does anyone know a store brand with colors that would look good on Jaxon?
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